As many experienced teachers can tell you, dealing with parents is often the most challenging part of teaching. I've been teaching for over thirty years and still sometimes find myself in situations where I feel completely at a loss. Here is one of those situations:

The father loves music and plays piano fairly well. The mother trudged through 8 years of music school, hated every minute of it, and still vividly remembers her experience. The boy is 10 years old, loves music, loves to come to lessons, and has made notable achievements. The father is not satisfied with the progress, clearly demonstrates his disappointment, and pushes the son to practice more. The mother can't stand it - it reminds her of her own childhood. Like any other boy, the boy never wanted to practice much; but facing all the tension and the father's frustration, he loathes to practice at all. Ultimately, the family decides to solve the problem by stopping the music lessons altogether.

I talked to the family at length, trying to explain that they are trying to solve THEIR problems at the expense of their child. The boy is not like the father or the mother - he has his own path and pace. He needs to learn how to practice - how to plan practice, work on the difficult pieces, and gauge his progress. And though a teacher always explains all this to students, young kids still need help and time to learn how to do this. They need not just pressure but encouragement. Nobody expects a child -- or even an adult for that matter -- to go on the diamond and play like a pro after hearing the rules of a baseball game. Nor does one start speaking a foreign language after reading the grammar rules. Music is a language children learn, and there are no shortcuts in the process of learning.

I asked the parents: "Do you really think that no music in your child's life is better for him than learning music at his own pace?" "It is not cost-effective," they answered. This puzzled me, and I did not know what to say. How do you measure Return-On-Investment of music education? How do you calculate profit from the joy of music, better memory, improved coordination, higher IQ, and being able to show off at parties? Do you think you get better value for your money if a child learns ten pieces a year instead of two and plays at five recitals instead of one?

Do you know what to say in this situation?